1. Adopt the attitude that this is not an insurmountable problem.  Work with the situation you have. Focus on the present, not the past and future. Avoid “what ifs?”
  2. Accept that change is a part of life. Focus on what you can change, rather than what you cannot change.
  3. young woman reading paperSet personal goals and work towards them.  You are not selfish if you continue to seek life satisfaction. It is OK to plan for the future.
  4. Become a problem solver. Don’t become trapped by the “Why me?” syndrome, but strive to find solutions to problems. Learn all you can about what is happening; don’t be a passive recipient of whatever information someone gives you.
  5. Maintain a playful, curious spirit.  Play with new ideas; enjoy new experiences. Seek laughter regularly.
  6. Constantly learn from experience.  Instead of seeking someone or something to blame for problems or mistakes, ask yourself, “What is the lesson here? What can I learn?”
  7. Nurture and celebrate self-confidence.  Self-image is your reputation with yourself, and it will be tested (e.g., by criticism from a spouse or family member).  Engage in things that help you feel good about yourself. Be self-reliant, self-aware and self-accepting. Take responsibility for yourself and your actions. Exercise self-discipline.
  8. Develop and nurture supportive relationships.  Do not see caregiving as solely your responsibility or believe that it should be. Research has proven that people cope better and are more successful when surrounded by supportive networks.  Accept help when it is offered and take the opportunities for respite when you need it.
  9. Express feelings honestly.  Be open and honest, but take care to express your feelings only when and where it is appropriate. Knowing when to laugh and when to cry is part of your emotional intelligence.
  10. Keep things in perspective.  Get your priorities right; who cares if the dishwasher is full, the bed doesn’t get made or the carpet is a little dirty. Avoid making mountains out of molehills. Save your energy for the battles that are important.
  11. Develop open-minded empathy.  Try to imagine how it is for the other person.
  12. Be prepared to defend yourself.  Have limits to what you will tolerate and express those limits clearly.
  13. Question authority.  Ask questions about your loved one. Avoid playing games and defend yourself against attacks. Fight back when you must.
  14. Develop a talent for looking at the positive side of life.  Often people say, “I would not go through that again, but it was an experience I would not miss.” Why is this? What is the gift? How are you growing from this experience? Resilient people are transformed by their experiences.
  15. Celebrate life.  Even the bad news days can be an excuse to say, “Let’s celebrate living with the issue and not dying from it.” Do things that make you feel good.
  16. Take care of yourself.  Physically, nutritionally and emotionally. Exercise regularly and eat properly, whether you feel like it or not. Seek diversions and escape for a while.
Last modified: Tuesday, May 21, 2019, 8:32 PM